Life as an elementary teacher in Korea is not an easy one. On a daily basis I receive information regarding a wide range of situations and events which require my immediate attention. Quickly processing this information and calculating the best possible course of action is what keeps my head above water day in and day out. I’m talking of course about the school memos that come hurtling towards me from the ether 3 or more times a day.
As mentioned in an earlier blog, these memos are mostly in Korean, but thanks to my sources at ‘Google Translate’ I can quickly receive a clear, concise, accurate and reliable translation of these messages in time for me to act on their content and save face/show up at the right time/prepare for unexpected events and what-have-you. I thought it was time for a blog entry showcasing some of these messages and the enlightened steps I took after deciphering their meaning.
So without further ado…
Are meals room.
Today is planting rice meatballs simmered sauce minced celery stalk celery geomsikhaeboni scored after completion of cooking portion of the fiber was not completely removed.
Perhaps he found geupsikjung Is not debris will be known in advance incase surprised.
Look more carefully in the future so we will pre-process
I was a little apprehensive heading into the lunch room that day. If the poisoned celery wasn’t enough look what I had to deal with later that day:
Associated with a character education schools month we say is the implementation plan.
Training Plan for the ‘we all say hi karate’ will also be submitted.
I urge you to miss Airborne me a morning together at the time greeting, please take time to try.
3 seconds to stop and karate, and put three kinds of mind, three seconds to say – 3,3,3 principles offer me a greeting in March
‘pleasure’ as is customary. Have a nice day.
I hid under my desk and focused on happy thoughts and digesting the celery from lunch.
On March 28th I briefly entertained the theory that everyone at my school was a vampire and they were biding their time to turn me into one of ‘them.’
4 months seems a tough three months passed.
Enjoy spring in March and April Have your blood charge.
April 22nd: I’m not sure if this one was supposed to find its way into my inbox….
You certainly want to hump Pucca ㅅssina mida laser.
Sports hengsa ipmida the week next Wednesday. Seongjigok, rains postponed.
I don’t know who ‘Pucca’ is, but I bet he was laying low/praying for rain the following Wednesday.
My mother respects her parents during this very busy with little time thou art greatly appreciated. The bread was ready to drink. Lesser, but delicious to eat would be appreciated.
I’m not sure how you interpret this one, but I carried around a tiny piece of bread in my pocket for a week or so in case I ran into the busy Shakespeare lover whose really old mother was never satisfied with the quality of her drinking bread.
May 5th: Whenever I translate one of these messages I give it a quick read to make sure it doesn’t contain any information that might affect me. If it doesn’t I discard it – no sense inputing data in the logical, well oiled machine that is my mind if it isn’t of relevance. I was about to throw this one out until I got to the last line or so…
There are many. Collect items First altteulbajahoe ilgyo room Keep this in 2-3.
Bulls deurilttae connect the whole place will be known.
Closed Saturdays and holidays at the discretion–>> children plan to ask the survey. Kulmesinjeoui flood
I’d like to get out. Numbers on paper and sending a note should be sent to the last half .@–>> 3-5
Paper is sent as payment.
Oh no. The dots connected in my mind quick as lightning. ‘Kulmesinjeoui flood’. ‘Collect items first’. ‘The whole place will be known’. ‘I’d like to get out’. Convinced there was going to be a massive flood and that the rest of the teachers were preparing their ‘items’ to be put on an ark that was in an as yet unknown place I spent the rest of the afternoon discreetly tailing my co-teachers to see if I could ascertain the location of the ark. A series of Indiana Jones esque adventures ensued.
The deadline for submitting the application sources gongripgyo 06/24/2011 (member schools) and paid to the person who made the decision to withdraw to be careful and do not wish hoc If you’re five minutes from the end of sympathy, please contact
(5 is estimated to be without it until the end)
Wait a minute. Who do I contact when I’m five minutes from the end of sympathy?
8 is a river guide for women’s volleyball.
I play the game as the man is the second game.
The first game because it takes time to know what time’s come I can not ragoneun.
Elementary School auditorium is the venue today, the Art of Fighting.
Please help I can win a lot of cheering.
I covertly inspected the female teachers in the lunch room that day, looking for an adam’s apple or some other clue that could give me the identity of the one who sent this message, fearing Wesley Snipes was hiding from the IRS in my Korean Elementary school.
May 23rd was an eventful day:
Moist, rainy afternoon –
The day you have trouble taking your time sitting in a shelter for one brief moment let’s arrange.
Rose Festival got his neomneom did suffer. The principal also sent a thank you did.
2:00 3-5 30 minutes in the classroom, I’m waiting for them a little snack. One, especially a man who can not fall.
Then I got this one:
∙ Maps milk program thoroughly: I did not want to eat a lot if you found away to the bathroom, so be sure to eat in the classroom, maps, and maps to drink the whole bottle (ex. jjakjeomgeom, etc.)
Good advice for anyone, in my opinion.
And just to show that these memos aren’t all crazy nonsense (at worse) and poorly translated (at best) here’s one that includes a kinda nice poem. I’m now being serious: I’m going to finish this entry with the poem and let you draw your own conclusions (actually I think the poem is nice enough that I don’t want to ruin the effect it may or may not have on you by saying something stupid after you read it.):
Lower rain today, sadly.
But this peace means your mind is probably thanks to several teachers. Rose sports a thick shaft lantern ceremony organized cooperation and generosity of many teachers who sports gimukjun Burke, manager of gimmyeongseon charismatic leadership, careful planning and do not ya think about how. Is only able to audit. Okay, sir. Your way down to the desk with a heavy layer 5 did a lot of trouble, do not sleep too late to come early in the morning taewoosin generous teacher enthusiasm, teacher who is moving behind the scenes hard to thank everyone.
June will give you the belly of a small party
Living a wild world
When I get rough
Put your hand in front
My heart is sick and suffered
When you become dewy look
Peace of mind against the wool
Lending to the chest who
One day in the rain
In the depressed state of mind
When I was alone
The music flows in a cafe
Someone buy him a cup of tea
Hopefully, you can.
My mistake committed by mistake
All the blame from me
Even though it left until the last
To send a warm eye
Only to trust a man
Hopefully, you can.
Please be happy today jeonhyeongdon Dream